


Beauty Killer

by SoulNarrative



Category: AFI
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-06
Updated: 2015-01-06
Packaged: 2018-03-06 08:30:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3127952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoulNarrative/pseuds/SoulNarrative
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Davey's been breaking hearts all over Los Angeles and getting away with murder. Jeffree wants to see justice served. Also features Nils and Ben Grey.</p><p>Word count: 8008 <br/>Published: 10/06/2009 Updated: 11/24/2009</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Queen of the Club Scene

**Author's Note:**

> This story is inspired by Jeffree Star's new record, "Beauty Killer." I'm addicted to this sexy, danceable, dark, acerbic commentary on being a celebrity. Star never takes himself seriously - after all, who could?
> 
> Beauty Killer
> 
> If I can't be beautiful, I'd rather just die  
> So self-obsessed with my mascara and mistakes  
> Vanity's like a funeral and everyone is at my wake  
> Before I run out of air there's more make-up to apply.  
> Doll eyes stare into Valium colored skies.
> 
> I gotta sweet tooth and strawberry youth  
> You wanna be my licorice and misguided truth  
> And right now I'll show you how  
> I'm a beauty killer
> 
> Rhinestone my eyes closed, and please fix my hair  
> This concealer can't hide all my pink nightmares  
> Before I ran out of air there's more makeup to apply  
> Doll eyes stare into Valium colored skies.
> 
> I almost died, but it felt great.  
> Faking perfection wasn't worth the wait  
> I may be easy, easy to hate  
> But you're fucking easy, easy to break
> 
> Tell me your secrets, and I'll tell you my lies  
> Everything is monotone in my dead eyes  
> If I can't be beautiful, I'd rather just die
> 
> I'm a beauty killer,  
> Gorgeous killer,  
> Hot pink killer,  
> Fierce killer,  
> I'm a beauty killer

_Queen of the Club Scene_

_Now it's 2AM and the party pulls up._   
_Now we're moving out to the city we love to go._   
_I feel - I feel electrical._   
_The lights so bright, you're looking magical in the city tonight._

_Tell me.. now that I can see your eyes, eyes on me..._   
_Say my name J E F F R DOUBLE E._

_Cuz I'm the queen of the club scene & they love me._   
_Cuz I keep the bass turned up._   
_It's beating on my heart strings and they all sing._   
_That they love the queen of the club scene._

_And if you see me there when I walk on by._   
_I will come to you when the time is right._   
_And if l like the way u look when the beat kicks in._   
_I will let you know as the DJ spins._

_Tell me.. now that I can see your eyes, eyes on me..._   
_Say my name J E F F R DOUBLE E._

_Now the club is hot and you're colder than ice._   
_If you want a shot, better take it tonight._   
_And if you see me there when I walk on by._   
_I will come to you when the time is right._

_Cuz I'm the queen of the club scene & they love me._   
_Cuz I keep the bass turned up._   
_It's beating on my heart strings and they all sing._   
_That they love the queen of the club scene._

********************************************************

"Cheers," Jeffree sloshed the azure blue liquid as he lifted the martini glass and invited Nils to meet it with his imported beer. Nils did so but didn't return the sentiment. He went back to intently peeling the label off the bottle.

Jeffree sighed and desisted from making a remark about what a drag Nils was when he was in one of his moods. He was genuinely fond of him and knew he was hurting.

As if reading his mind, Nils turned to Jeffree with a wan smile and said, "Thanks for convincing me to come out with you. I didn't realize how anti-social I've become."

"My good deed for the day." Jeffree sipped his drink and winked at Nils over the rim.

The truth was Jeffree was worried about Nils. He had been so comfortable with himself, quietly self-assured. He had been special with his shy smile and unaffected beauty, so natural in this unnatural town. Now he was full of self-doubt and his self-esteem was at an all-time low.

"Maybe you're doing me the favor. You are brave enough to be seen with the queen of the club scene, the infamous Jeffree Star. Aren't you afraid of what people will think?"

Nils took three gulps of his beer and set it down a little too hard. "Fuck people," he replied simply.

Jeffree knew what that meant. Nils was sick of hiding and being hidden, like a dirty secret. He was sick of being good enough to be fucked behind closed doors but not good enough to be kissed in public. Yes, fuck people - one person, in particular.

Nils finished his beer and signaled the bartender for another. He was getting a little drunk.

"Jeffree, you are a true friend in a place full of two-faced posers. You're the only real person here because you're so obviously unreal. I get that."

"You're a genius." Jeffree knocked gently on Nils' forehead. He liked it when Nils was drunkenly earnest.

What neither said aloud was that Jeffree was one of the few who knew how he'd been treated and how hurt he was. What Nils didn't know was that Jeffree felt the same way for the same reason but in contrast to Nils' withdrawal, Jeffree chose to exaggerate his public image even more.

Jeffree turned his attention to the far side of the club, idly wondering who was there.

He started at the sight of a very familiar face. "Well, look who's here," Jeffrey noted, not realizing he had spoke aloud.

Nils perked up and smoothed his long hair nervously. "Is he here? How do I look? Oh shit, why did I wear this? I should go…no, I shouldn't - when will I get another chance to see him?"

Jeffrey was quite aware of the major crush Nils had on the frontman of Scarlet Grey, Ben. They would make an adorable couple, Jeffrey thought. Ben's petite, blonde, boyish look beside Nils' willowy, dark, poetic one would be a very hot combination.

Ben was just the remedy Nils needed and Jeffree was sure the attraction was mutual. The trouble was they were equally shy. He was still working on a hookup scheme.

He patted his arm. "You look positively rapeable, as always." An uncertain smile spread across Nils' face and Jeffrey felt terrible.

"Wait, Nils. It's not who you think." It was too late. Nils had turned and was searching the crowd. Jeffrey saw him stop and stare as the color drained from his pale face. He looked like a trapped animal seeking an avenue of escape.

Jeffrey rose up, his indignation rising, too. Nils grabbed his arm. "God, no, Jeffree! Please don't let him know I'm here." The panic in Nils' voice just emboldened him. He gently but firmly removed Nils' hand and started elbowing his way through the writhing crowd on the dance floor.

His target didn't see him approaching. Jeffrey reached him and stepped between the handsome man with the shock of blonde in his short brown hair and the exotic black-haired girl he was obviously charming. He recognized her - some Hot Topic model. She nearly fell backwards when Jeffrey gave her a powerful butt with his behind.

"How's tricks, Dave?" Jeffrey spoke to the top of Davey's head, towering above him in 8 inch stilettos. Davey didn't miss the double entendre.

He was forced to crane his neck back to meet Jeffree's wicked smile. They were both well aware it was hard for Davey to maintain his dignity in that compromised position.

Davey didn't want a scene so he smiled up at Jeffrey through gritted teeth and stepped back to gain space. "I'm fine. And you?" Davey's voice couldn't have been colder.

"Just peachy. I'm with someone you haven't seen in awhile. Why don't you come over and say hi?" Davey narrowed his eyes with suspicion and glanced around.

Jeffree slipped an arm around Davey's waist and practically carried him through the crowd towards the bar where he'd left Nils. Davey resisted as much as possible under the circumstances but Jeffree had him overpowered.

As they passed acquaintances Jeffree cuddled him close and smiled coyly while Davey pretended they didn't know each other. The last thing he wanted was to be seen with Jeffree Star again.

Finally, they reached the spot but Nils was nowhere in sight. Davey sensed Jeffrey was nonplussed and pushed away from him. He darted away into the crowd. Jeffrey was left behind to worry and wonder about his distraught friend.

 

  
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story archived at <http://www.afislash.com/viewstory.php?sid=7946>


	2. Queen of the Club Scene

  _Ge_ _t Physical_

_Work me out, lets get physical_

_The sweat is dripping down my back, it feels so good_   
_The time & place is right now cause I'm in the mood_   
_I want to give you something more that exercise_   
_Feel my body pumping as I work your thighs_

_Give me a test drive, a different kind of fitness_   
_Do you want to hit this, do you want to hit this?_

_You know I'm hotter than a furnace so take it slow_   
_Clench my teeth together as you start to blow_   
_You might get agoraphobic so come inside_   
_So come on, let's do some more aerobic exercise._

_Don't get tired, we just got started_   
_While you weren't looking the Pacific Ocean parted_   
_Don't get tired, we just got started_

_work me out, lets get physical_

*********************************************************

Nils and Ben began dating. Jeffree congratulated himself on the success of his plan to bring the two together but it was really Ben who had decided he wanted Nils. He was just biding his time.

Coffee, dinner, films and small house parties were safe bets for two introverts wanting to connect. After four months, they were seeing each other nearly everyday.

One night they left Paisley's intimate soiree around 2 a.m. and Ben asked Nils if he'd like to have a last drink or a snack at his apartment. Nils had been waiting months for this moment. He accepted without hesitation.

They listened to music and shared panini and pesto spread, eating right off the kitchen counter. The conversation drifted to the latest song Ben was working on for the band. Nils' playing had improved to the point that he was rehearsing and sometimes playing with Scarlet Grey.

Ben offered Nils another beer but he declined." A beer belly wouldn't be very becoming. My guitar would bounce off it during gigs."

Ben stepped close to him and placed his hand on Nils' flat middle. "Fool, you never need to worry about that." He swept a crumb away from the corner of Nils' mouth with his thumb, letting it lightly rub over his bottom lip. "God, your lips are so full and soft. I've always wondered what they felt like."

Nils eyes went wide. Ben slid his hand from Nils' belly down to his hipbone and squeezed. He pressed his mouth to Nils' and ran the tip of his tongue between his lips, parted in surprise.

For months they'd sat hip to hip, shoulder to shoulder. When Nils casually draped an arm around his shoulders, Ben relaxed into him. But this was all in the company of others. All his straight friends did the same so why should this mean more?

Rarely were they alone. Still, he hung back for fear this was no more than curious exploration for Ben. As much as he wanted Ben naked beneath him and had fantasized just that many times while stroking himself, he was still hesitant.

It had been the opposite with Davey. They'd slept together the night they'd met. Davey's charming persuasion had won him after only a few hours. He'd fallen in love with him nearly as quickly and it'd been easy to convince himself that sex wasn't the basis of their relationship. Now he felt he'd been a fool.

Ben pulled Nils' long hair back and held it at the nape of his neck. He gave it a gentle tug. "Nils, where are you?"

When he had his attention again, Ben smiled seductively. "Your neck is so long and pale. Would you bruise if I sucked on it?" Blood rushed to Nils' cock and he blinked. Ben was really serious. He wasn't so sure about himself.

He hadn't been celibate after Davey broke it off with him. He'd had sex when he wanted it but it wasn't that often. Davey had spoiled him for that, too. He'd never felt so desired and known such passion, as if Davey wanted to devour him - and Nils had wanted him to. How could sex with anyone else ever equal it?

Still, masturbating to memories wasn't always enough. He needed to feel the warmth of another man's body against his, hands touching him, lips on his. So he contented himself with friends and their benefits. It was always with guys he liked who were discreet and played safe.

And there was Jess. When she came into town, they'd make love her first night there as had become their habit over the years. They'd had a brief affair when Nils was only 21, partying heavy and experimenting with everything and everyone as he tasted what L.A. had to offer.

When they'd met, the emotional connection had been immediate and the bond between them was still strong. Taking her to that tender place when he saw her was his way of reassuring he still felt it, although both had quickly moved beyond the infatuation.

So Nils knew what he didn't want and he had to say it. He chewed on his lip and looked at Ben hard before he laid out the truth.

"I'm not looking for a fuck-buddy. I need more and…I can't help it - when I fall, I fall hard."

"And you jumped off a ten-story building for someone who won't give you the time of day now," Ben replied softly.

"You know about that?" Nils looked away.

"Yeah. I don't know what motivates him but Nils, it's over. That has nothing to do with us. I've been with you nearly every day for months and I know you're someone who shouldn't be taken for granted."

To emphasize the point, Ben kissed Nils with more ardor. "I'm not going to hurt you. Would you come to bed with me?" Nils peered deep into his guileless, grey eyes.

Many times he'd been pulled into Davey's penetrating gaze and believed he saw his essence. Now he knew he'd been looking into a mirror and seeing the reflection of his own adoration.

This was different and he replied, "You know the answer."

Ben kissed him again. "Give me a few minutes before you come into the bedroom."

Suddenly, Nils was anxious. "I forgot my cigarettes in the car anyway. I'll have a quick smoke, all right?" Ben smiled and placed another light kiss on his mouth. "Sure. Make it fast."

As soon as Nils was outside, he called Jeffree.

"Jeffree, you won't believe this."

"Like in a good way or a bad way, sweetie?"

"I don't know. I'm at Ben's and he asked me to sleep with him," he whispered.

"That sounds cozy but while you're there you should wake him up and fuck his brains out."

"J, this isn't funny. I don't know if he's…he's…you know…"

"Lucky you! You get to pop his cherry?! "

"I don't know! Oh god, I'm so nervous…"

"Nils, you learned from the best. I mean, second to me - I've got the Ph.D. in faggotry."

Nils fell silent as a sense of undeserved shame crept up on him. "The best" - Davey. Once again he searched inside himself for an explanation of the sudden ending. He must've done something wrong - but what?

He'd been sure Davey loved him. He'd never said the words but it had been in every smile, every whisper, every touch.

Then one day it all stopped. Nils' texts and calls went unanswered. He'd hear sound behind Davey's door but it never opened to his knock. So he began to ask around. Is Davey all right? Have you talked to him? Yes, they said, he seemed fine, but they wouldn't meet his eyes.

This torture continued for a week and Nils felt reality slipping away. Finally, he passed him on the street and Nils called to him. Davey turned and looked right through him.

Nils was paralyzed, devastated. He'd been erased. By the time he recovered, Davey had disappeared like a ghost. That was the end. Nils gave up.

Jeffrey's apology broke the silence. "Nilly, I'm sorry. No way are you like him."

As the silence at the other end continued, Jeffree spoke up. "So, girlfriend, how serious do you think Ben is about you?"

He heard the hope in Nils' answer. "Serious, I think."

"Okay, then go and make me proud, tiger." Jeffree growled seductively and clicked off. Nils closed his phone and shook his head, smiling.

He realized he'd forgotten to have a smoke just as Ben opened the door and looked down into the parking lot. Nils hurriedly produced the pack from his jacket pocket as Ben pulled on a tshirt and came down the steps.

"I couldn't find them anywhere and they were right under the seat." Nils lit up to cover his embarrassment. He failed at lying.

Ben joined Nils on the hood of his car. "I'll chill with you. It's really a nice night. I can't see a fire for at least…two miles." They laughed. Nils relaxed and took Ben's hand in his.

Nils took three leisurely drags and put out the cigarette. He pulled Ben up with him. "I don't know about that fire. There may be one closer than you think." Ben caught Nils' shy smile. He tugged on his hand and they made their way back upstairs.

Ben stopped to lock the door behind them while Nils switched off lights. Ben casually led Nils into the bedroom as if they'd done this a hundred times before.

Simultaneously, they pulled off their shirts and turned to each other. Nils anxiety was erased by want when he saw Ben's soft, pale chest. He reached out and lightly pulled his hands down over it until he was stopped by Ben's belt at his waist.

With a jerk, Nils impatiently pulled it open. He released the zipper and pushed Ben's jeans down to his knees before taking him in his arms in a crushing embrace. He didn't know the source of this hunger. All he could do was follow it blindly.

He walked him back a few steps until they hit the bed and Ben toppled backwards, still trapped from the knees down by the jeans. He laughed as he pulled Nils down on top of him. Ben pushed against his chest and said, "Take off your pants and get comfortable."

Nils was too shy to slip off Ben's low-cut briefs yet but he stripped down to own his silk boxers and lay beside him. The hunger overtook him again when Ben kissed him with his tongue deep in his mouth. The kiss became fierce.

Nils tore himself away and kissed Ben’s shoulders and clavicles. He covered one nipple with a warm palm while he lightly sucked on the other, making Ben moan. He gently twisted the one in his hand before returning to his mouth for gentler kisses.

He was trying to hold back but he couldn't stop his hand from gliding over Ben's abdomen, squeezing his hip and brushing over his groin enough to know he was already hard and straining against the briefs. He began to rub the heel of his hand over Ben's erection through the material.

Nils gasped when Ben did the same. He seemed to know exactly what he was doing. Nils decided not to interrupt with questions of Ben's "virginity." He would let desire guide them.

Ben stopped to strip off his briefs. "You, too," he playfully demanded as he tugged at Nils' boxers and they disappeared. He grasped Nils' hard cock and stroked him as he bit at his earlobe. Nils wanted more.

They were lying face to face on their sides and Nils was debating whether to roll on top of his lover or pull him over and wriggle beneath him. The first time with someone was always awkward; more so when you really cared for them.

It became obvious it would be neither when Ben brought his knee up over Nils' hip and pulled tight against him. First, he had tucked Nils' erection down so it rose and nestled beneath the warmth of his scrotum. It was unexpected and Nils' gave a surprised whimper.

Ben wrapped his hand around the back of Nils' head and pressed his mouth into another deep kiss. Nils lost himself in it. Ben began to move, gliding over Nils' cock again and again.

He lifted himself so Nils' was directly contacting his entrance with every movement. Nils thought Ben felt slick already but he broke the kiss to ask breathlessly, "Lube? Condom?"

Ben spoke into his ear. "I took care of it when you went out for a smoke. You feel like you've got plenty of your own lubrication happening. And if I didn't trust you, we wouldn't be doing this." He sought Nils' eyes. "Do you trust me?"

"Yes, I do." Despite his words, Ben sensed hesitation and realized they were going too fast. He didn't want Nils to rush through this just to keep him interested. He pulled away.

"Lie back. I want to look at the hot Ford model I'm in bed with."

Nils scoffed. "You mean the one with the big nose, wide mouth, thin hair and…"

Ben interrupted. "Jesus, stop! You're fucking perfect. I look like the little Dutch boy next to you. Look at you - all svelte and tall."

"Scrawny," Nils whispered. Under his breath he added, "That's what he said when I wouldn't work out with him. I went along anyway - he liked me to suck him off in the sauna."

Ben was so appalled he was speechless. He'd tried to be neutral about Nils' breakup with Davey - there were always two sides to every story. But he couldn't ignore Nils' pain when he let things like this slip.

For the first time, the thought of Davey's exquisite figure filled Nils with loathing. The hard muscle beneath the inviting, colorful skin was proof of his conceit. Davey didn't go to daily Mass - he went to the gym to worship his own perfect image.

Nils re-focused on the fair man gazing at him in awe. He pressed his fingers into the soft flesh of Ben's waist and it yielded to him. "I love your body and I like that you come by your good looks naturally. Besides, the little Dutch boy is fucking hot in that sailor suit."

Ben laughed and reached out to caress Nils' prominent hipbone. "I love yours, too but if you're going to be my boyfriend, you'll have to eat more. Espresso, cigarettes and nuts for lunch and the occasional veggie burger for dinner won’t cut it."

Nils felt a little thrill go through him at the word, "boyfriend." A chortle of delight escaped his lips. Ben smiled and thought to himself, 'He is too cute.'

"But you can never be too thin or too rich…" Nils insisted.

"I disagree with both. Especially the first one. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t beautiful. You are."

Ben traced the tattoos on Nils' arm and moved to the anchor above his nipple. "This is so incongruous on you. What made you get it?"

"It's a private joke between Trevor and I. He did the work," Nils answered with a mysterious smile. Ben nodded and didn't probe further.

His fingers trailed down and hovered over the spidery script just above Nils' hip. "'And I'll grow pale without you.' It sounds familiar. Where is it from?"

Nils swallowed and tried for a nonchalant tone. "DecemberUnderground." He was relieved when Ben brought up the photo of Jess and Lisa standing with him, hips aligned and all flaunting the same tattoo.

"You're really close to those girls, aren't you, Nils? Especially Jess. Mind if I ask just how close?" He couldn't deny he would think twice about entering an open relationship.

"She's like my sister and she's my best friend. I mean, yes, we've had sex but that's not the connection. She can't be what I need…not like you can. Not like I want you to be."

"Hmmm. I'm not sure what you mean," Ben's fingers drew a line from one hip to the other, dipping low in between. He heard a sharp intake of air.

He followed the crease that led down Nils' groin and took his hard cock gently in his hand. He caressed him and teased, "She can do this, can't she?"

That was enough for Nils. He turned to Ben and pulled him by his shoulder a bit too roughly to face him. "Listen. It takes a lot of that. With you, I was hard as soon as you touched my hair in the kitchen."

"You mean when I did this?" Ben tenderly tucked a strand of Nils' hair behind his ear. He leaned in and placed a kiss just below his ear and Nils tilted his head back, inviting more.

Ben ran his hand up and down Nils' sinewy arm and shoulder. He pulled close to him and looped his leg up over Nils' sharp hip again, deftly tucking Nils' dick beneath his ass, where it rose and pressed against Ben's entrance.

Their bodies remembered what had been interrupted and sought to return to it. Nils slid between Ben's wide open thighs and this time he didn't hesitate to penetrate him. He watched Ben's face for a sign that he was pushed beyond his comfort and saw him bite his lower lip, eyes squeezed shut.

"Ben, should I stop? Start over?" Nils lie still and held his breath for the answer.

Ben pressed his mouth to Nils' and he pulled his hip tight against his. He moved against him, simulating a thrust as best he could.

"Make me feel good, Nils. I can't do this by myself," he teased breathlessly.

Nils lost all inhibition. He wanted to devour any remaining space between them at every level. He cupped Ben's ass easily in his graceful hand, opening him and moving deeper.

There was no resistance in Ben's body, only welcoming, as Nils fell into an easy rhythm. His arousal peaked as Ben met his deep thrusts. He wanted to kiss him and never stop.

Nils bit tenderly along Ben's throat, making him moan. Ben grabbed a fistful of Nils' hair and pretended to pull him away while his body just clung closer.

Nils panted and broke into a light sweat as he obeyed the demands of their lovemaking. Ben held back nothing and that meant so much. It was that, if nothing else, that brought Nils to a heady release. Tears threatened as he shook in Ben's arms, overcome with pleasure and emotion.

'I love you.' The words were on the tip of his tongue but there they remained. He was afraid it was too sudden, too soon. He couldn't bear it if they were thrown back in his face like a bad joke.

He slowed as the tension drained out of him but he stayed hard and that drove Ben crazy.

"Don’t stop. I need to come," Ben pleaded.

Nils rolled Ben onto his back, somehow staying inside him as he did so. "Wrap your legs high around my waist."

Ben was glad he didn't count calories as Nils' ribs and hipbones ground into him. His cock was wedged into the hollow of Nils' abdomen.

The moans escaping from Ben's lips and the wet sound of their fucking in his own cum kept Nils hard. He twisted his hips every time he hit Ben just right deep inside.

Ben dug his heels into Nils' lower back and locked his knees against his sides. He went rigid, arched his back and came between them, calling Nils' name. Completely spent, Nils collapsed onto him and kissed along Ben's throat with a soft smile playing on his lips.

 

***************************************************

They fell onto their backs after their mind-spinning climaxes to catch their breath and let the sweat and cum dry. Their hands sought each other and they lay there with lazy smiles until they turned into each others' arms again. Nils rested his chin on Ben's head.

Nils felt his heart opening and he welcomed it. He lightly blew the fine, blonde fringe of Ben's hair and drew him closer. Ben cleared his throat and tapped a finger tip against Nils' chest. "Nils, I have something to tell you. I was going to last night but then you got the best of me." There was teasing affection in his voice.

"Something good, yes?"

"Very good. Remember how I've been trying to get a little tour in merry ole England? It came through yesterday."

Nils felt like he'd been slapped. "When?" He could barely get the word out.

"Looks like next week."

Nils pushed him away and sat up on the edge of the bed.

"What's wrong, Nils?" Ben wrapped his arms around him from behind. His body was stiff and he refused to turn as he said icily, "That was the farewell fuck, I suppose. Thanks for that."

"What?! What are you talking about?" Ben was alarmed by Nils' unexpected reaction and he held him tighter.

Nils tried to shake him off. "My fault for thinking you were different. Your music comes first, right?"

"I'm telling you this because I want you to go with me. And if you'd play a few of the gigs, I'd be ecstatic. But if all you want to do is sightsee and make love, that's fine, too. We'll have lots of time for that. I just wanted us to get away from this scene. Don't you?  
Please believe me."

Nils let the words sink in. He had believed so many lies before. The man had admitted it.

_Here's the final scene, where I finally come clean -I've watched you for years. And here's my favorite part, where you beg for my heart and I disappear._

He couldn't resist Ben's pleading and he needed to believe him. Nils turned to him and replied, "Alright.If I get to pretend I'm Moz."

Ben gave a heavy sigh of relief at Nils' typically sardonic answer. With a tender kiss, he replied, "Of course. But I won't be your heart-breaking Johnny."

 

  
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story archived at <http://www.afislash.com/viewstory.php?sid=7946>


	3. Prisoner

 

_Prisoner_

_I got no regrets._   
_And I remember the day that we met._   
_There was no way that I could forget you._   
_So I followed you home and I waited till you were alone._

_And I crept into the room while you slept_   
_And laid next to you, and I knew_   
_That I could never let you go._

_I know this seems so wrong_   
_But I'm just a lovesick criminal_

_You can arrest me, baby._   
_I don't wanna leave._   
_Lock me up, throw away the key._   
_I don't care if I'm in trouble deep._

_I'm addicted to your love._   
_I'll be your prisoner._   
_I'll be your prisoner tonight._   
_I'm under your spell._   
_And I just can't get enough._

_You woke up to me staring at you in your sleep_  
 _Like a deer in the headlights, I coul_ dn't see  
 _Anything else but the way you breathe._

_And you screamed at the top of your lungs,_   
_You couldn't believe it. You thought you were dreaming_   
_I knew I never wanted you to let me go..._

_I know this seems so wrong_   
_But I'm just a lovesick criminal_

_I wanna pay for all the consequences_   
_Believe me, I have the worst intentions._

_I'll be your prisoner tonight._

********************************************************

'What the hell am I doing here?' Davey was more than a little annoyed with himself. Despite all his resolutions to the contrary, here he was alone with Jeffree. But he finally had to give in - after all, it was for his brother.

"Come along, Davey. It's in the car. Michael's birthday was - when? And I've been carrying his gift around since then. I've tried to catch up to him but I give up. It's your familial duty to deliver it to him."

Davey jammed his hands in his jacket pockets and huffed. He muttered under his breath, "I swear, Jeffrey…"

Jeffrey heard him and spun around. "Just for once can it be about someone else? He's your brother, for chrissakes! Cunt."

Davey glared but suppressed the retort. Jeffree knew just how to get what he wanted.

They neared the car and the locks clicked open on the pink Mercedes. "It's in the backseat. It's heavy and you're such a man now…"

"Where? I don't see it." Davey had one knee on the seat and was leaning down, peering into the dark.

"Oh, I just remembered! You must smell this divine new scent I discovered!" Jeffree reached a long arm around and waved a silk hanky close in front of Davey's face.

A pink cloud obscured Davey's vision when the wadded hanky was pressed tight against his nose and mouth. The smell was cloyingly sweet. Suddenly, he was terribly lightheaded and was powerless against the shove that put him facedown on the leather upholstery. Everything went dark and silent.

Jeffree lifted Davey's limp form by the hips and folded him into the backseat before slamming the door. He cast a furtive look around the secluded parking lot. He tossed the keys in the air and caught them with a smile. He hummed his new song, "Prisoner" as he slid into the driver's seat.

He pulled up to his apartment building and glanced over his shoulder. Davey was still unconscious. A flicker of fear arose. He'd done all the research he could about chloroform but he was no anesthesiologist.

He straightened his shoulders and proceeded with his plan. To anyone looking, he was simply helping an inebriated friend into his apartment. He opened the back door and pulled Davey up into his arms. He drug and carried him through the secured doors.

He was completely winded by the time he made it inside his own bedroom. He let Davey drop on the bed. Breathing heavily, he bent over him to make sure he was all right.

He couldn't help but be moved by his beauty, even in such a state. He ran a finger along his rough jawline, back to the pulse beating strong and steady at his throat. Adrenaline rushed through him with the realization of what he'd done. A drink was in order to calm his nerves while he contemplated his next move.

Two shots of Jack and he was ready to proceed. He fished the "perfumed" hanky out of his bag and approached Davey. He knelt and held it firmly over this nose and mouth. Davey stirred but inhaled deeply and fell even deeper into nothingness.

Jeffree slowly undressed him. Shirt first, then shoes, socks, pants until he lay naked on the bed. Jeffree stood with hands on hips and admired the sight. Not an ounce of extra fat or excess muscle, perfect tone, the best he'd ever looked in his life. A low moan escaped his lips at the familiar sight of Davey's long, thick cock.

But something was missing. It took a moment for it to register but when it did, Jeffree exclaimed in bitter disappointment, "Not your PA! Oh, Davey, how could you?"

His fingers trailed over the familiar tattoos, tracing 'Love Will Tear Us Apart' from hip to hip. 'That's certainly your motto.'

Jeffree wondered when Davey had last had a cupcake. He knew Davey prided himself on his new abstinence from all forms of sugar. He remembered when hitting the best vegan bakeries in the city had been their favorite past-time (other than fucking and playing with make-up.) It made Jeffree terribly sad. He was furious, too but it emboldened him to continue.

He went into the bathroom and gathered all the instruments and accessories he needed. He sat the tray down on the bed next to Davey. He was ready to sit beside him when he had a much better idea. He stripped off all his clothes. Leaving on his stilettos, he straddled Davey's waist and balanced the tray on his chest.

'This reminds me of when I had to actually work for a living,' Jeffree remembered the long days and nights grooming and making up Beverly Hills hags for tips. 'If they'd looked like this, I would've paid them for the privilege.'

'First things first.' He switched on the electric razor, one of the finest made. Silent and so finely calibrated, it felt like a massage more than a shave. In a minute, Davey's face was as smooth as if he'd been waxed.

Jeffree lovingly worked moisturizer into Davey's skin. He decided against foundation and started with a concealing powder. Then the really fun part - eye makeup!

First he applied the long, false eyelashes - Davey's favorites. "Remember when eyelashes saved our lives, Davey?" Long-buried emotions threatened to emerge. In response, he brushed on the luminescent green-gold shadow extra thick.

"They'll grow back," he reassured his helpless victim as he made two precise swipes with a tiny instrument around each brow. He resisted the urge to shave them off completely as thin as a pencil line but he left them thick with a lovely high arch. The final touch was done when he traced them in black, just like he'd done with Davey's lower lids.

He had a challenge when it came to Davey's hair. He slid a towel under his head. and began to assault it with enough chemicals to comb it flat and smooth. He added cream color darkener. Finally, he feathered what strands he could across Davey's forehead.

He searched carefully among the lipsticks for the perfect shade. He found it among his old MAC collection. He applied it liberally. On impulse, he moved the tray aside and leaned down to Davey's mouth. He gave him a bruising kiss and smeared their lipsicks together. He whispered, "I loved you. Now I hate you."

He straightened and brushed away an angry tear. He wanted to slap Davey awake. Instead he reached for the tiny vial of amyl nitrate and held it under his nose. Davey's eyes flew open but focused on nothing. Jeffree still straddled him and purposefully ground their dicks together, fully aware of the effect of the poppers. Davey was hard immediately.

Jeffree took advantage of Davey's confusion and moved up him until he hovered over his shoulders on his knees. He took his dick in hand and rubbed it over Davey's painted lips, relying on old habits being hard to break.

Sure enough, Davey's eyes fluttered close and his mouth went slack. Jeffree slid deep into the warmth. One hand went beneath Davey's head and held it, angling it up so his penis hit the back of Davey's throat. Davey started to choke but relaxed and submissively accepted it.

Jeffree commanded, "Suck me, bitch." Davey did as he was told, passively at first but then he remembered the oral pleasure and began to work Jeffree's cock hungrily. It had been so long since he'd done this to any man. "That's a good boy," Jeffree said in encouragement.

"Now the naughty fun begins," thought Jeffree and reached for his cell on the table by the bed. It was on the "camera" setting. He pulled out so just the head of his dick was between Davey's lips. Silently, he snapped the first picture and captured it all, including Davey's elaborate makeup. Davey was engrossed in the taste of pre-cum and didn't notice a thing.

"That's enough. Now I'm going to pull you down to the end of the bed. You can help." Davey obediently wriggled down and in a second Davey's ass was lined up with the end of the mattress. Jeffree knelt between his open legs and lifted Davey's knees until they hooked over his shoulders.

Being taller, Jeffree lifted Davey's bottom up off the bed several inches. Jeffree leaned over for the lube and slicked his cock and Davey's hole. "No prepping for you," he said as he gripped Davey's asscheeks and held him up. One hard thrust and he was in deep. Davey cried out and turned his face away in humiliation at just how tightly his erect cock was plastered against his abdomen.

Jeffree thrust into him mercilessly as all the pain of rejection and loss surfaced. He leaned forward and placed his hands on the firm mounds of Davey's pectorals. He'd had a manicure that morning and had added two-inch nails so sharp they'd cut skin.

He shifted his weight and balanced himself on Davey's chest. Davey groaned as faint lines of blood rose to the surface of his pale skin. Jeffree gave a derisive laugh of satisfaction.

The pain fueled Davey's arousal and he stroked himself faster, twisting the head of his cock at the end. The camera clicked twice to record the sight of Davey being fucked as he brought himself to orgasm. The milky cum smeared across his distinctive tattoos did nothing to obscure his identity.

The sight nearly pushed Jeffree over the edge into his own climax but he fought it. He didn't give Davey time to recover before he dropped his legs from his shoulders and roughly rolled him over onto his stomach, knees on floor.

Jeffree spread his cheeks and entered him again and again. Between gritted teeth, he hissed, "You were my bitch. Mine. Don't ever forget that." Six more thrusts and he came with a burst of diabolical laughter. His cum shot up over Davey's beautiful inked wings.

The camera blinked one last time.

Jeffree pushed off him and Davey stayed on his knees, face-down on the bed. He listened to the sound of clothes being yanked on and then the door slammed. His heart pounded and the sudden solitude unnerved him.

After a long time, he crawled up on the bed and curled under the cold silk sheet. He was exhausted at every level and his mind was numb. He closed his eyes and escaped into a troubled sleep.

Eventually, the sun woke him. He was disoriented and struggled out of bed. He recognized the long-forgotten sensation of drying cum pulling on the skin of his stomach and lower back. In a rush of emotion, he remembered every waking moment of the night before but he remained unmoved - he'd learned that feelings can easily be dispelled.

He pulled on his pants and went out into the living room. He smelled aromatic tea wafting from the kitchen but no one was there. He prepared himself a cup and gingerly sat down at Jeffree's quaint café table.

There was a black cardboard box with a gold ribbon wrapped around it sitting there. It had a card with his name on it tucked under a corner.

Inside were two delicate pink frosted cupcakes. Scrawled on another card inside were the words, "Remember the pink moments."

Davey was suddenly ravenous and ate one before he knew it. The forbidden sweetness was so overwhelming his eyelids fluttered closed in pleasure. He bit into the second but couldn't swallow another bite. Grief had tightened his throat. Someone had died. Him.

Where was the "boy" who loved to shock and rebel and confuse, even as he made fun of himself? Jeffree had been his favorite playmate, fellow conspirator and the only man he'd submit to in bed. A hundred times they'd exchanged glances with the glint of shared mischief in their eyes. Now all he saw in Jeffree's look was disdain and he hadn't cared. Until now.

What had happened to the gratitude, that feeling of pure luck, of elation, that he was able to do what he loved most - write and play the music he loved most - with the people he loved most?

When did those people become familiar strangers? Were they the ones who had changed or was it him? Jade and Hunter were so busy with their other creative projects - maybe they were preparing for the worst and just letting go.

Deargod, if the band ended, what would happen to Adam? He'd set up his drum kit in Davey's spare room and before Davey knew it, he'd be coming home at 3 a.m. to Adam's tv blaring ESPN while he slept among empty beer cans, like the unemployed favorite brother you can't kick out.

No one knew Adam the way Davey did. Everyone assumed he was so easy-going that nothing fazed him, that his needs were simple and his thoughts shallow. But Davey knew still waters run deep.

Adam had a child-like appreciation for the good and he cherished it. Nostalgia was an expression of that and every time he saw Davey they were back where they started. Adam didn't think it was a sign of arrested development - it was just a reminder of the best thing in his life.

Davey was chagrined at how he hadn't really given Adam a second thought in a long, long time. Only because of Adam, had his dreams come true.

He had faith and passion equal to Davey's when they started - enough to bash away with drumsticks he'd never held. Adam had become a formidable percussionist and he had done it alone. He'd encouraged Davey's practicing with a voice that had barely finished changing. It wasn't always pretty.

Davey had often thought Adam had risked it all for Davey's dream. He had forgotten it had been Adam's dream just as much.

Nils appeared before Davey's mind's eye. That last look. How had he been able to turn his back on that beautiful face, after he'd destroyed him with just one blank stare? He'd told himself it was better that way. If it was over, then it's over - no need to prolong the pain of a breakup. He was doing Nils a favor. No. In his heart he knew he had been a callous coward.

When had he become such a…? "Cold, pompous ass," Jeffree sneered in his head. He'd been so sure he wanted to be an adult, to be taken seriously, to know who he really was. But now he felt more lost than he'd ever been in his life.

Tears spilled down one silken cheek. He wiped them away and stared at his hand. It was smeared with streaks of black and gold.

************************************************************************

Big Ben struck. It was eleven o'clock in London and the day promised to be damp and mild. It was hard to remember the dry inferno they'd left behind in Los Angeles.

Nils was disoriented for a moment. When he was fully awake, he was again thankful they'd gotten hooked up with this old bed 'n' breakfast. It had been a rooming house since the 80s and still had much of its original character. The owners had decided therein lay its charm.

It smelled of mold and stale smoke. The plumbing creaked and moaned but the bed was top-notch and the linens were "dreamy," as Nils said. A handsome Englishman would appear at their door shortly and leave the breakfast tray.

The gay couple who ran it were progressive enough to accommodate a vegan diet and had connections in the city for the fresh espresso Nils required, especially after the night before.

The intimate show they'd played had been followed by a tour of pubs with several local "fans." Nils seemed determined to try every ale in town. It had been such fun. The subtle depression that had settled over him after Davey had dropped him had lifted.

Between the beer and the breads that seemed to be the only vegetarian fast-food England had to offer, Nils had gained some weight. Away from L.A., he was free from the random casting calls that constantly worried him about an extra ounce.

The slower pace calmed his nerves and he smoked less. He was relaxed, eating more and wanting lots of sex. Ben was delighted. He'd known it was just what they needed.

Another perfect day lay ahead of them. Nils stealthily unwound a dozing Ben's arms from around him. He stretched and smiled as Ben sleepily reached out to re-capture him. "Benny, lemme go. I gotta pee."

"Price is one kiss," Ben whispered and hugged him tighter. Nils warmly obliged the kiss and added, "…when I get back, I'm going to make little Ben chime."

He took care of his business in the bathroom. He felt a little guilty as he stopped on the way back to bed to check his phone but hell, who didn't do it? When he opened it, he saw that Jeffree had sent him something very special.

Ben had drifted back towards sleep but was startled wide awake by a loud burst of laughter. He sat up and exclaimed, "What the…?!"

Nils was bent over the phone in a paroxysm of hysteria. Ben jumped up to see what was on it but Nils held it high over his head out of reach, laughing until his sides ached and he dropped it.

Ben snatched it up and caught a glimpse of a slideshow on the screen before a giggling Nils wrestled it back from him. Ben looked at him beseechingly. "What's so funny? It's just a couple of drag queens fucking."

THE END

 

  
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